So like I’m pro-Lobola, I believe in maintaining and celebrating our African roots and culture. When in Rome do as the Romans do, same applies to Africa, when in Africa do as the Africans do….
“Culture makes people understand each other better. And if they understand each other better in their soul, it is easier to overcome the economic and political barriers. But first they have to understand that their neighbour is, in the end, just like them, with the same problems, the same questions” Paulo Coelho
Lobola is the bride price of appreciation, a gift really given by a prospective husband among certain traditions in Southern Africa. It is also a measure to test if the man is able to provide financially for the family he intends on building.
Now I’ve always said that Lobola money is quite a heavy burden on the black man, its a once off amount that in some instances is kept by the in-laws or in certain instances is used to fund the wedding or buy the newly married couple electrical appliances and furniture for their home. It’s all well and nice if this is done but this creates debt and strains the new couple as they also have to worry about the wedding and honey moon costs.
And also, having the option to take out debt to pay for Lobola defeats one of the main tests that Lobola aims to measure, having the ability to provide. In Financial terms we would refer to this as being liquid or having positive cash flow. Taking credit to fund for this flaws the whole process as that is sort of like a quick fix, a short term solution that will come back to bite the couple in the future. Also back in the days women would not be afforded the opportunity to go work and make money, this was done by the men and hence the test that the man will be able to provide for the lady; this system worked well in the past, but don’t we have ladies nowadays that are on stratospheric fleekin’ levels making moves, more money than their partners? independent and even own their own businesses?? She don’t need no brother to prove to her that she will be well taken care of…. anyway story for another day (but I do love me an independent sister I will highlight).
So I thought to myself as I usually do, in line with trying to preserve and celebrate our African culture, this solution I will be presenting will not only preserve our culture but will also retain the tradition of paying Lobola.
So instead of paying a lump-sum of money to the in-laws, how about we package that payment as a trust fund, or even an investment fund that gets locked in for say 10-20 years earning compounded interest to benefit the kids the couple will have in the future? To pay for say their university fees given the exorbitant varsity fees we have? Or Better yet, use the money to pay down a deposit on a bond, rent out the house so that the monthly bond payments are taken care of from the rental income, with the property market’s consistent appreciation, 20 years down the line the property’s value would be valued at a significant higher value than the initial price it was bought at.This will guarantee that the kids will be afforded a good future going forward, the money in this case Isn’t used up within a short period of time and is used to guarantee that the couple is well taken care of financially in the future.
I can just imagine how this will plan out, with the families going to the bank to sign up for an investment account or getting a bond approved and having to go back to the house for celebrations and announcing the value of the property purchased to the rest of the extended relatives **alulates** . I can just imagine the change in the tone of most marriage conversations, “Whooo sisi, you know for Lobola Lerato’s elders negotiated that Sipho take out a R1 million bond” or “Whooo sisi, you know for Lobola Lerato’s elders negotiated that Sipho invests R50 000 towards a fund that will mature in 10 years”
Just my idea of ensuring generational wealth flows through to our kids and their kids. Long term thinking as opposed to short-termism, also embracing the changes that have come with each generation, not to dictate that this should be the case, having discussions about such solutions brings about a new way of looking at things.
Your thoughts?? Please feel free to comment and give your opinions…
#moneymonday
#geniuslevel
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the generation of parents born before 1970 would never allow that but as time goes by i think we are going to reach this stage and its going to be better for both parties
Freaken awesome idea. Then you would see man being happy to pay lobola as the funds are an investment into the family’s future.
I actually love this….. particularly in situations where parents of the girl jave passed on. Probability of relatives giving her the Lobola money to take of everything her parents would have done are very small. This way they would negoatiotenin good Faith vs milking the guy for whatever as is the case right now.
Agreed, you make a good point! Thanks for giving our blog a visit.
This is awesome, I have always thought about the relevance of Lobola in our days , its really no longer serving its purpose as the times have changed. Culture was created by people and it can also a be corrected by a people. we need to continually have these conversations . we are not undermining the African culture but we looking at how can this improve the life of black people. Financial security for the children or even for spouses.
I think this is well written argument, so I don’t mean to be the only wet blanket here….But I don’t think this proposed ideas will help to fix our generational wealth requirements. Paying lobola is not the issue, and I always think it’s funny when people say that they respect our culture and traditions, and then in the very next moment they comment about how that tradition needs to change with the times. That negates the whole respect that you say you have. Culture and Traditions are there for a purpose, and we cannot twist and turn them into what we wish when we feel like it. If we don’t understand the value and the purpose of lobola then we should educate ourselves, and empower those that are using those traditions in the wrong way with knowledge. We need to hold each other responsible instead of acknowledging all the twisted ways around us and then just cancelling the tradition…. 🙁
In addition to everything that is said above about lobola, we need to be reminded that this is also a sign/symbol of gratitude to the bride’s parents for raising such a woman. This was never meant to be used to help the couple getting married – these are the kinds of misperceptions that lead to all sorts of “unhealthy” behaviours such as taking out loans, girl paying for her own lobola, etc. So consider yourself lucky if you come from a family that is willing and able to assist you with your wedding and life. Also, if you are getting married to someone and they are “broken” by the prospect of paying lobola then that should be a worry for both parties. Perhaps there is some financial management/adjustments that are required to help you as a couple to begin with, let alone a married one.
Coming to the issue of generational wealth, taking out a long term endowment is not really an investment (low growth, no flexibility, old financial selling model), getting a R1m loan for a bond is not really an investment (bank owns your house, affordability, why?). furthermore, Both of these can be cancelled when a person decides they don’t want to pay anymore, which defeats the point of investing for the future…? What we should be teaching each other instead is how to create sustainable ways of building our own income and using our money wisely. What business ideas are you investing in to set you up in the future? What investment tools/opportunities are you you looking into and placing your money there to grow for other future ventures? Do you have “rainy day” money? Why do you have credit cards and not plan for the purchases with money that you actually have? Do you even have a budget? Are you clear about where you are spending your money and what value you are getting from those expenses?
Instead of encouraging each other to flaunt our wealth to society to show our status, perhaps we should be doing a little more introspection about what it really means to be wealthy. It’s going to take a lot more than just identifying “low-lying fruit” that is convenient to get rid of, when we don’t really even understand the true impact of that, or what is really required for us to change our destiny as a society. I think it’s time we start having real conversations about issues that affect us a black people (ie.our mindset) instead of trivial activities that don’t mean much in the bigger sense.
I’m really curious LeboM, What exactly does loyola represent to you? What is its significance? (My tone is curiosity. From your post I deduce that you are fully in favor of how it is traditionally. I would like to understand your why.)
What is most important is to preserve our culture for future generations.For two partners to think of marriage it means you have prepared for this and you’re ready to commit your self you cannot get into a shop to buy a loaf of bread with empty pockets
Awesome idea dude. Im gonna try and convince my fiancé that we do the samething. really dope!
You also mentioned that nowadays we see woman who earn as much or more then their partners. Why not also talk on a combined investment for the future. We need to be aware that times are changing and culture changes with these times. Tradition on the other hand remains the same. So the culture of ukulobola has to evolve…
Brilliant post and I think LeboM makes some great points as well. To not runaway from the value of the tradition which is being grateful. My thoughts have always rather centred to building with for my future wife’s family when I do propose.
Such as, business I could build for them? Farming land I could acquire etc. To me it’s those things I would find more beneficial then straight out cash. How can I show sustainable gratitude
My boyfriend and I tried this…
Both families flipped, we nearly got our heads chopped off.
This is a very logical idea, (re. the era we live in and the era that is still to come) but if you come from a family that truly respects culture and one that is trying to preserve the disintergrating african culture this suggeation will not even be given a second look.
🙁 🙁 🙁
We need more people to think out of the box like you Kagiso. I second your suggestion! The cycle of poverty needs to be broken. I for one have always been annoyed (understatement) by the whole idea of couples getting into debt in order to marry and families knowingly allow this under the umbrella of maintaining culture. What we need now more than ever is to create a culture that is debt free and generates wealth.
Hi Bryan
The plan above is to replace the current system of giving in laws money; with a new investment plan whereby instead of inlaws saying give us x amount of money, they say take x amount of money and open a 10/20 years investment for the children you going to have
I think before anything else, we need to understand where lobola comes from and what it represents
Back in the days when a boy grew up and became a man, the family from which he is from will share with him live stock, maybe 2 or more cattle
In turn the man will the grow that live stock and one day go ask for a girl’s hand in marriage; the girl’s family will then tell him how many cattle they need from him, he will then go back and grow his live stock to match the needs or if he already have he can just subtract from what he has
NOW: once Lobola is paid, the lady can never go back to her family regardless of any situation she faces in that family, be it death of the husband nor infidelity; in case of the lady wanting to leave the family in which she is married to, the new family will have to negotiate lobola with the family in which she is married to
NB: Once lobola is paid, you are a priced possession of the family you are married to