“The whole world can become the enemy when you lose what you love”—Kristina McMorris
By Nthabiseng Lucia Tselapedi
Been adulting today, calling my funeral cover company *yes! I have one, I don’t have a pile of money stacked away* to add my better half and other family members. Funerals are expensive and more than an emotional toll, they’re also a physical drainer! *Which is why we need the covers yo! Ish will have you and your pocket, seeing flames!* Also, I don’t know how many of us are actually considerate of the fact that they are also subject to inflation hey!?*I wasn’t but hey, now I know* Lee Bromfield, chief executive of insurer FNB Life as said on IOL, that on average, the cost of burial is ‘estimated to range between R30 000 and R40 000’. Bromfield then said if unplanned for, all these expenses could easily overwhelm families and negatively impact the hopes of providing a decent burial. Okay, so the reason I was only adding my husband now, was because well, he’s my husband now and this led me to think had he died as my boyfriend then what? Does it mean I wouldn’t have contributed towards his burial? And if I had wanted to contribute, would it be culturally allowed? Also, does time play a factor? Like, we only dated a month and I am not contributing or we were together for years, so obviously I will contribute?
For me, the answer is yes, I would contribute, regardless of the time spent, I mean I loved him and shared a life with him, sometimes we share kids with our boyfriends and I thought in SA, if I stay with my boyfriend after a certain period, he becomes my common law husband but that law is fuzzy and can create a cultural mess. And we know there’s always some drama at a funeral, whomever contributes less being told off and treated funny and the one who contributed more wanting to be the main everything, kids, wives whatever you can think off popping up! *whoo!* I can’t just want the #Baecations and the #blessed life especially when I loved him.
However, It now also raises another question though, so, okay, I want to contribute and willing to contribute, *I am making my contribution my time and money by the way, I don’t want to impose, if I bring other stuff such as food, I don’t know what the family has prepared* Who do I give the money to? As obviously I won’t be part of the “family” discussions? You probably thinking, that’s easy, his parents, brother etc. but what if they don’t like you and never have, they were just tolerating you for the sake of their child?
Basically, I just wanna know what is the protocol? I am not really culturally clued up on this matter and would like to find out more. Because I hate the idea of being married to be able to make decisions on a man or woman you love!
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