The Genius Thief Who Broke In & Stole My book Collection… By Kagiso Maloma

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As I had decided to take a break from alcohol, I was feeling a bit out of turnup character at the club where I was chilling with my friend swerving to some Hip-hop jams. Being of a mood that did not blend in with the scenery I decided to call it a night early and drive home. Got to my place, threw the keys on the couch without a lit up welcoming from bae as I scream “honey I’m home!!” lol, none of that, just a cold house fit for a bachelor like myself.

Round about 3 o clock before I hit the sack, I decided to check out some YouTube videos, funny how the logarithm used in the software always has me feeling like the dudes at Google know me personally. Ended up passing out in the process with the video still playing; perks of having unlimited Wi-Fi in the house.

Round about 4:45 I’m woken up by the sound of a heavy Port Elizabeth wind pushing into my house through a slightly open sliding door. That’s a bit weird, I would have never left the sliding door open! What the hell is going on? Struck with shock and a little bit of fear of what the hell had happened I grab my dumbbell and head downstairs to check what had happened. Been gyming for some time now so in my head I’m ambitiously thinking if there’s still someone lurking downstairs, they are gonna get it.

It had been leg day that Saturday so you can imagine my bravado is in slow motion as I head down the stairs. My red guitar is still there by the wall, so is my TV, and Acer laptop placed on top of an automan.

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From the open window it had become very clear that someone had broken in and left via the sliding door. The second item I check is the car keys and there they where on couch near my Samsung tablet. “WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON??” I ask myself………….. Could it be that I woke up just in time to scare away the shady lurking burglar who was in my house? Or did I really just forget to close the window and sliding door before I slept? Maybe a case of Alzheimer’s? nah I’m too Genius for any of that.

As I turn to the kitchen to grab an apple and try ‘borne identity’ this whole situation I quickly realised that one of my book dividers was on the floor and there were no signs of my books. Wait? My face turned red with shock as I wondered what the hell was going on?? My Harry Potter collection, The Alchemist, Rich Dad Poor Dad, The Outlier, Losing my Virginity, Eat Pray Love, 7 habits of highly successful people and the Monk who sold his Ferrari by Robin Sharma were all missing!!

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What a stint of biblical proportions, WHOEVER HAD BROKEN INTO MY HOUSE HAD STOLEN MY BOOK COLLECTION and left my Laptop, TV and Tablet!! Instead of getting mad I had this cunning smile on my face as I thought to myself’; I had made the world a better place by unwillingly sharing all that knowledge and Genius with the crook who had stolen my book collection. He’s gonna definitely love the Alchemist by Paulo Coelho! I quickly said to myself with a grin………. I’m sure he will! or maybe he’ll go on to write a book of his own ( The 8th Habit of a highly efficient crook).

“WHOEVER HAD BROKEN INTO MY HOUSE HAD STOLEN MY BOOK COLLECTION”

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Just as I was drowning myself in excitement because of what had happened, I had already jumped onto my laptop as I planned to put up the whole story of the Genius thief on my WordPress blog………..

DING DING DING DING DING DING

Someone Waking Up and Realizing it was All a Dream

A BRIGHT FLASH OF REALITY HITS ME AS I’M WOKEN UP FROM MY DREAM………. by the sound of a heavy Port Elizabeth wind pushing into my house through a slightly open sliding door. That’s a bit weird, I would have never left the sliding door open! What the hell is going on? Struck with shock and a little bit of fear of what the hell had happened I quickly ran downstairs  leaving no room for swift scenario narration of what was happening. As I got downstairs I realised my house had been broken into, the TV, Laptop, Tablet and some clothing had been taken. All of these had robbed me of my Genius dream that would have been an absolute pleasure to share with the world.

But instead of stealing my ever so amazing book collection that would have been more of a long term value add to his dumb ignorant stealing self, he chose the ‘TV’. He could have witnessed the sheer beauty of the Alchemist, but no he chose the ‘TV’. He could have read about the Monk who sold his Ferrari and his remarkable transformation, but no he chose the ‘TV’. He could have given me a beautiful story to write about and restore much needed hope in this evil infested world, but no he chose the ‘TV’.

Okay, I know what you thinking, what the hell am I supposed to get out of this story? Well read on because I always make it work…………… brace yourself……….ready?

Well just the other day I was having a discussion with one of my friends on how everyday should be seen as an opportunity to reinvent yourself, change the shit that you didn’t like the previous day, do more value add activities, read that book you have been pushing back on for weeks, instead of sitting and soaking in your self imposed misery do something about it, call your mom and tell her you love her, live a little and worry less, work towards those grades you’ve always wanted, work toward upgrading your Genius Level…………..

But nooo, what do we do when given the chance to break into the window of opportunity and enter into a new day filled with a million possibilities? We always choose the ‘TV’. We overlook the high value book collection and head for the time wasting and procrastination friendly ‘TV’. By now given the level of Genius you possess you must have figured out that I’m using the ‘TV’ as a metaphor.

Don’t be the thief who went for the more appealing options filled with ignorance, head for the ‘book collection’ that will surely generate you more added value for years to come. Opt for the value adds over short term offerings, everyday is a chance to reinvent yourself.

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Article by Kagiso Maloma (Based on a true story)

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