No Valentine? Yeh So What? By Pamela Kunene

I went for supper a few weeks ago with one of my girls, at one of those quiet restaurant where they play slow jam music. She excused herself for a couple of minutes to go to the rest rooms. You know how girls always want to look pretty throughout the night. While she was gone I ear wigged a conversation between 2 young women sitting very close to our table. One of them was frustrated that waiting for “The One” is taking forever. She is on her 20s, got a car, an apartment, a good paying job, the only thing missing is “Mr Right”. Before I could hear how her friend would respond my girl came back, and I am thinking are you jesting me (I was about to hear the best part of the conversation).  But anyways, clearly this young successful woman is halfway to being the perfect wife for the so called “The One” she is longing for. Read More …

Hello From The Fearless Side, I Just Wanted To say F*** You!! By Pamela Kunene

Adele collects her award for Album of the Year during the 2012 Brit awards at The O2 Arena, London.

I remember that the night was filled with thunder and rain, I still remember that I was dead in my sleep not even the thunderstorm could wake me up. I remember that you came in and physically shook me. I still remember how hard I tried to pay no attention to you, but HEY, your persistence was something I could not ignore. I opened my eyes to grasp just a glimpse of who you are, yet I couldn’t find much, for I was still half asleep and blurred. I still remember that I finally opened my eyes, and all I could see was you. I tried to probe for more about you, but I had no luck at all. Most of all I remember that you and I became so close and so inseparable. I still remember that we were so close that I never saw the need to give you an option to stay or leave. In fact I wanted you to stay, because you were all that I had. Read More …

How Having The Right Squad Goals Helped Me Reach My Goals… By Pamela Kunene

superthumb“It starts with a zero, minus a mentor, minus internet divided by poverty, what does that leave you with? Ambition! Multiply that by countless trips to the library, minus a few birthday parties, minus electricity, multiply that by early mornings and late nights and that will equal to 100% in mathematics, 100 % in Physical Science and a Degree in Engineering” Investec

This is a story of a girl who was raised in poverty, but against all odds she is now an inspiration to many, and an ambassador of Investec. Her story proves that it doesn’t matter where you come from, what matters is where you are going. It also proves that ambition and perseverance can solve life’s most challenging equations. Her name is Lindiwe Zono, and this was her story. But maybe since I can, let me share a little bit about my story.

From high school, I had always considered myself as this ambitious, driven and motivated girl. And I knew that coming to varsity, meant that a new chapter in my life was about to be written. Anxious and excited all at the same damn time, I was still determined to be the best in everything that I do. I was so organized that I had set goals that were to be achieved in specific time-frames, and these included the intention of completing my first qualification at the age of 21. I used to listen to people talking about failure and to me failure was something absolutely foreign, as I had never tasted its sour nature. Then came the day I had a taste of it… fail, failure, disappointment. I felt my life break into pieces, my confidence shattered against the walls and my personality smashed from within. The worst experience ever, I didn’t know how to handle it all, how to tell my family that varsity is more challenging than I ever imagined? How to even begin to tell them that I don’t even want to do this course anymore? All these questions needed answers, and only I could account to them. Now I had to make a choice, do I continue to cry and feel sorry for myself? Or do I pick myself up, put the pieces together, reconstruct my confidence, recuperate my personality and grow from the experience?

I had an opportunity to get in touch with people from different kinds of backgrounds, some came from private schools, and some from public schools just like myself, some from really poor families, and some from rich families. But we all enrolled at the same institution, we all had challenges throughout varsity, and that is why our backgrounds did not define us, or determine where we were going. What defined us was how we handled our challenges and what we did on a daily basis in order for us to achieve our goals. I learnt life principles from each of these people without any of them noticing the wisdom they were sharing with me. I’ve grown to make use of these in almost every aspect of my life, and I feel the need to share with others because it’s said that the minute we share wisdom we make this world a better place. I believe that everyone wants to be successful, but at times we find ourselves in a position where we don’t know were to begin or how to keep the goals we have alive. So below are the life principles I learnt and use as guidelines in attempting to reach that success pinnacle:-

  1. Focus on your goal: Your goal should be the reason you wake up every day. It should be the reason you remain committed to what you are supposed to be doing. It should be the reason you don’t allow anything or anyone to stand on your way or distract you from achieving it. It should be the reason you see yourself in the future dancing, finally celebrating your achievements.
  2. Hang around people with the right mindset: I used to study with people that would study all night, and if I ever found myself slacking I’d feel so bad knowing that I was supposed to be working. When I took part on the leadership programmes as extra-curricular activities, I found myself spending time with young people that had great ideas on how to better our institution. I started adopting the same type of mindset and that is finding solutions for existing problems, or identifying problems that no one ever thought existed, and at the same time finding solutions on how we could resolve them. So keep away from people that only think of problems and no solutions, stay away from people that find excuses for every situation they encounter in their lives. Those are bad people, they are bringing nothing but negative energy in your life. “Surround yourself with the winning team” -ET
  3. What you put in, you get out. The only way I had to improve myself and get better results was to change the way I used to do things. I promised myself that I will be the best in everything that I do, but at some point I lost that. So the minute I realized that I had lost my obligation to not being average, I changed and tried to only aim for greatness. I realized that if I want to reach the next level in life, I need to be committed every day. But now the trick is there is always the next level, and the only way to be great is to apply more effort on the next level. It is that simple if you want improved results, you need to give more in order to get more.
  4. Procrastination: The right time to do it is now! Unfortunately for us, distractions are everywhere, social media being at the top of the list. We find ourselves spending 80% of the time on social media and 20% on working on our dreams. Eric Thomas makes so much sense when he says, we always expect an apology from people that broke their promises to us. But how many times do we hold ourselves accountable for not keeping the promises we’ve made to ourselves. And he also mentions that we will never reach greatness if we can’t be honest with ourselves. Sometimes we don’t realize that the time that we didn’t work on our dream, that’s the time we would have achieved so much. Each and every minute counts!
  5. No More Excuses: One way to live life without excuses is to hold yourself accountable for every decision you make, then you know that no matter what happens, no matter what challenges you face, you are still obliged to do what you are supposed to do. Every time you convince yourself that everything is going wrong, you are right, it is going wrong, but what are you doing about it? Do you sit around and sing the same negative song every day or you make a decision to make changes in your life. One trick I learnt is to do what you can with what you have, eventually things will come together. Sometimes making a change means waking up or even realizing that every day is a new day.
  6. Be tougher than life: Whenever you go through to the next level in life, it is always accompanied by challenges. And these challenges are there to prepare you for greatness. But at times we find ourselves in a position where we feel like we can’t handle the challenge, or it is too much for us. Challenges are here to stay and that is why we must embrace them and we must embrace pain. They come in different forms, sometimes you go through the pain of losing someone you love, or a heartbreak or job loss, it doesn’t matter it is still a challenge, and you should never allow it to stop you from being successful. You must make a decision to be tough and move on, because whenever you go through it, you come out stronger.
  7. Have a plan with action: When you have a goal it must be accompanied by a plan and you must act on it!!

In case you wondering how my story went? well I received my first qualification at the age of 22, and the second one at 26. Does it matter? Maybe it does, maybe it doesn’t. But I think that what matters to me is the fact that I never gave up on what I wanted to achieve. Anyways this is my story. Each and every one of us has a story. But it is up to us to make choices that will determine how our stories will end. A piece of advice from ET, “make the rest of your life, the best of your life”.

Article By Pamela Kunene

ANCWL Where Are The Pots Though? **Inserts Thuli Madonsela Confused face** By Pamela Kunene

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Back in the olden days before most of us young independent and gorgeous ladies were born, women had men to build the world and things they wanted. Women had less opportunities, less recognition, and you could say were less appreciated by society back then. All these due to the man taking centre stage in terms of being the one to go out and work for the family and be the sole provider. Women back then were either maids or full time housewives. Things like Lobola made sense then as the men were required to prove that they can provide for the woman they intent on marrying as she would not be working.

But today all that has changed thank God! We now live in a society where women (including myself) are the more superior being with superhero powers to add to that (business woman, employee, CEO, wife, etc.). We are the beneficiaries of equality and freedom that was hard fought by heroic women as they courageously marched to the Union buildings and demanded that they too be considered equal citizens of this beautiful land. Nowadays you can never keep a sister down! We have rightfully earned the right to seat at the big table.

Ok so here is the thing, one of the reasons these women were able to defeat the injustices against women was because of the support they had for each other, their unity kept them stronger, their vision and hunger for opportunity gave them drive. Movements like the ANCWL had strong support and value add objectives to continue their fight against women injustices. I believe their mandate back then was clear and they had a huge sense of objectivity, integrity and honestly.

They have in the long past done some great things for women and for that we are grateful .They did a great job supporting Reeva’s parents throughout the Oscar Pistorius trial, I mean they were there from day one. But wait, lets rewind back to Jacob Zuma’s rape case, what role was played by the ANCWL? Did they go into hiding? Does the zero tolerance to women abuse only apply to certain individuals? Do we allow our leaders to sexually abuse women? The blind following and support they give to individuals within their structures is all a little confusing really. The woman that was allegedly raped by President Zuma was said to have looked up to him as a father as Zuma was friends with her dad. Why did the ANCWL not wait for the law to take its cause before picking sides? Ok I think I must be directive now when I ask this question! Did it ever come to mind that the support you were giving Zuma was totally against what you as the ANCWL stood for? Don’t you think that there was everything wrong with Pres Zuma getting involved in such a despicable act on a woman who was supposed to be more like a daughter to him?

So many female leaders have been verbally attacked by men in the ANC and not a single word from the ANCWL in terms of rebuking such acts. Now let me highlight just a few of these incidents were I strongly feel that they could’ve stood up and defended those women.

  • When Lindiwe Mazibuko was verbally abused with regard to her hairstyle, outfit and weight by ANC male MPs… ANC female MPs laughed hard as this was happening, jumping up and down, some even dabbing. They could have condemned the behavior of their MPs but they chose to play along. If these men can insult one woman, then they are capable of doing the same to all of us. No woman should allow another to be humiliated and insulted like that.
  • When Thuli Madonsela released her report on Nkandla, the ANC Youth League and Congress of South African Students (COSAS) made hurtful remarks about her physical appearance (woman with an ugly nose, clumsy clown, etc.) ANCWL went into hiding again. Why do we always see the ANC distancing themselves? Why not hear anything from the women of the party? Should it not be the ANCWL’s duty to have called the youth to account for the disparaging, sexist and derogatory remarks they made about a woman who is just like them? Just read in the news that there is a freash new attack on Thuli Madonsela again… But this time guess by who? The ANCWL ka sebele (themselves) and guess for what? For defending the constitution, I cannot believe that the ANCWL went and said this to the media (NEWS24), “We demand a more objective and less populist person who will not campaign against government and its people, but defend principles of the structures”-ANCWL. “We, the ANC Women’s League remain steadfast in the course to stand and lead at the front to protect the African National Congress,” secretary general Meokgo Matuba said in a statement. Like where are the pots though? I am literally in confusion mode right now, someone please tell me where the pots are! Does the ANCWL understand what Thuli Madonsela’s job is? Like do they know that she is protecting the public against maladministration? Honestly why do we all believe in her great work except for the ANC, ANCYL and even worse the ANCWL??? How are they not at the forefront in support for a woman who is doing great work for this country? I believe Thuli is as confused as I am, on her recent interview she said

“Women shouldn’t just be fighting for gender equality, they should be fighting for making sure that the state of South Africa is advancing everyone, because when the state fails, it’s women who pick up the burden”

We can’t have the ANCWL always defending president Zuma for doing wrong, instead of defending women that are doing great work. Not even gonna go into the latest Rhodes incidents and how the women’s league went cold again and never said a thing when students were arrested for a peaceful protest that was aimed at raising awareness against the growing rape culture in the country. ANCWL please go back to the drawing board, you are not here to only defend the ANC, your objectives should be to defend women and fight for equality finish and klaar. I strongly feel there is a lot of young talented and strong women leaders who are doing great things in this country, the women’s league does not represent such women.

The fact that we are from different backgrounds, political parties, and other institutions doesn’t suppress us as being women first before we are affiliated. We need to find common ground while building support for one another. With the platforms we have already established let us make use of these to improve our country and encourage all women that it is important to support, build, encourage and protect one other. We are naturally strong beautiful creatures, the greatest gift this Universe has ever had. Together we need to reemphasize the fact that ‘Wathint’ Abafazi, Wathint’ Imbokodo’. (You strike a women, you strike a rock).

 

Article By Pamela Kunene

Vodka, Ice Cream & T’issues’… "What Every Women Needs To Know" By Pamela Kunene

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 “If you’re in a relationship and all you do is cry every day, you’ll need to stop and ask yourself, ‘Am I dating a human or an onion” – Unknown

I am not sure who came up with this quote but I found it hilarious the first time I read it, well not anymore. I knew that a lot of women put up with a lot crap that men put them through, but after the conversation I recently had with my friend, I got exasperated, infuriated and all sorts of emotions you can think of.

She got into a relationship with a guy she knew had a girlfriend, unfortunately she agreed to an arrangement that when the girlfriend is around she must know her place (give the guy some space to be with the main chick). That didn’t bother her much because the girlfriend was never around anyways, so technically she was the majority shareholder and the girlfriend was obviously the minority shareholder, and besides that Luther Vandross says “Love the one you are with”.

When she lost her job she was forced to move in with this guy, which lead her to cooking, cleaning having sex with him and doing all the domestic chores done by housewives. A couple of months later he reminded her of the arrangement they spoke about when the relationship initiated (giving him space when the main chick is around). You can imagine she stays with this guy, so every time the main chick comes over she must pack everything and he would drop her off somewhere. This became a norm, every weekend he would ask for some space, but this time for every girl he wanted to bang!  He would tell her in the middle of the night, “tomorrow midday I will need the flat to myself, where must I drop you off” Did I mention that she cleans all the weird stuff on the sheets when she comes back, YOH! I know!

When the conversation started I was mad at how the guy was ill-treating her, but as she went on and on about how she always cries, the anger shifted to her. Right there I told her to stop crying. Mind you she finished my Vodka and she was about to finish a box of tissues I just bought. The first question I asked was why did she stay months and months putting up with all of this crap, and guess what her answer was “I love him and he Loves me”, I love him and he Loves me ? Are you kidding me? Really? Look here if this is how love is supposed to be then I don’t want it, in fact I’d rather be alone, single and happy like I am now.

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Sometimes, things are better left as mere memories. You can try to change things back to how they were or try to recreate things to be the way you want them, but you’ll never be truly happy. This guy doesn’t have any respect for her let alone love her.

I remember when I read the “A Dedication to All Women Who Know Their Worth” article, I thought of all the requirements I have and that I will not be able to sacrifice these, simply because I know my Worth. I know that I will be able to pick up when anyone abuse me emotionally, because I don’t let things go just like that.

Again the question is raised, why do women put up with being abused? Do you know that not only will an abusive relationship make your life miserable but it will also damage your self-confidence? I don’t have any advice for people who suffer from emotional/physical abuse except leaving the relationship.

Seriously if a relationship makes you feel bad, down and worthless, not only is it unhealthy, it is also a fast method for destroying what’s left of your self-confidence. Please stop allowing yourself to feel trapped and used by being treated far less than you deserve. My friend wants her story heard, she wants any other woman out there going through the same abuse to love and respect herself enough and walk away.

 

Article by Pamela Kunene

There's More To life Than Worrying About Mr Right, Marriage & Biological Clocks… By Pamela Kunene

I went for supper a few weeks ago with one of my girls, at one of those quiet restaurant where they play slow jam music. She excused herself for a couple of minutes to go to the rest rooms. You know how girls always want to look pretty throughout the night. While she was gone I earwigged a conversation between 2 young women sitting very close to our table. One of them was frustrated that waiting for “The One” is taking forever. She is on her 20s, got a car, an apartment, a good paying job, the only thing missing is “Mr Right”. Before I could hear how her friend would respond my girl came back, and I am thinking are you jesting me (I was about to hear the best part of the conversation).  But anyways, clearly this young successful woman is halfway to being the perfect wife for the so called “The One” she is longing for.

After that night I began to wonder if that is all we as young folks think about? Finish our studies, acquire all that we can, and find “the one” and apparently all this should happen in our 20s? I recently realize how much we are setting limits for ourselves, these are the years we should use to create a fulfilled life by making conscious choices about what’s meaningful. We should be embracing our young-adult years and connecting to something bigger than ourselves. There is so much more, like personality, it is shaped more during our 20s than any time before or after. We should keep in mind that we will only be in our 20s for 10 years.

I read something about Kim Kardashian wanting to study further, I must say I have so much respect for her for that. Had she taken nudes, the story would’ve been on every news feed, but because it’s this story not so many people know about it. For the past decade and a half she’s been on this life or death mission to get famous, that’s been her whole focus, versus broadening her horizons intellectually.

I am not disputing the fact that you could and would have “the one” and start a family in your 20s, I don’t think there is anything wrong with that. But to those on a roller-coaster ride, I mean those that are waiting and panicking and stressing about getting old. Make sure that you have embraced this time as a single somebody. There are things to appreciate about being single. Like Fun, Freedom, Adventure the list goes on and on….

By Pamela Kunene

What Are You Doing To Empower Yourself Lady??? By Pamela Kunene

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Apparently girls’ brains can begin maturing from the age of 10 while some men have to wait until 20

 

So apparently girls’ brains can begin maturing from the age of 10 while some men have to wait until 20 before the same organizational structures take place, a study from Newcastle University reveals. They discovered that as the brain matures it begins to ‘prune’ information that is stored and focus on what is important. For girls this can happens as early as 10 years old, but for boys it can take until between 15 and 20 for the same to happen. How ironic can this be?

For years I’ve been trying to understand the significant logic behind the women’s march to union building in 1956. They flocked singing Wathint’Abafazi Wathint’imbokodo! (Now you have touched the women, you have struck a rock.), but the most amazing value about this demonstration is that it was conducted in a disciplined, dignified and orderly manner. Ok wait let me emphasis this, the demonstration was conducted in a disciplined, dignified and orderly manner. And why is that? Clearly these brave women wanted to their grievance taken serious. With that being said the conclusion is, they laid a foundation of recognition, dignity, and respect for women, look the list goes on and on and on.

But that was 1956 right? I know I like asking a lot questions, am I being inquisitive? Yes gladly…It’s more than 50 years later and we are so fortunate to be exposed to a foundation that is indeed a monumental achievement. But what are you doing today as woman, as an individual? Not all women in SA took part on that demonstration, it started as a personal choice, and then collectively they flocked to the Union building with the same goals to achieve.

Today Organizations, Institutions and the Government, are putting so much effort adding on to the empowerment and development of women. But as an individual, which part are you playing to empower yourself, to earn your respect, to maintain your dignity? How often do you take initiatives for yourself? Are you only relying on these parties to do the work for you? They left a legacy behind. And it is our responsibility to maintain it by making choices that will add on to our self-development and empowerment. And this begins with self-love and self-respect.

I know that what people think of you and your actions is none of your business. I actually don’t even agree with that. I believe that at some extent it is your business. So how about you make it your business to be respected and valued. This is a small world and if you do not maintain your respect and your dignity as a women, it will all come back to you and it will hunt you down. You see the sad part about respect and dignity is that, it’s easy to lose it but so hard to gain it back the exact opposite of weight, it easy to gain weight and so hard to lose it.

Article by Pamela Kunene

When Life Throws You Potholes.. Just Swerve… By Pamela Kunene

dv617062...“The fear of death follows from the fear of life. A man who lives fully is prepared to die at any time”

Every year we start by reminiscing about our memories, reflecting on the past 12 months and looking forward to the resolutions we made.

Every morning, I always try to set my mind to the right direction, think positively, control my emotions, think of something to be grateful for etc. and I go and anticipate great things. Read More …

How To Buff Up Your Social Media Security The Baleka Mbete Way… By Pamela Kunene

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Privacy on Social Media

Social Networks are great for allowing people to share posts (thoughts, interests, pictures and videos etc.) with friends. But you really don’t want to share your posts with the entire world now do you? I know at times you might feel like you have nothing to hide, but you must be aware of the fact that advertisers, spammers, and cyber-stalkers (Hackers) can view your non-private posts, which can lead to some security threats, most commonly identity fraud and those annoying sales calls that keep draining the living life out of your phone. Read More …

Did You Know You Can Now Make A Free Call Over Facebook?? “An Evolution Of Stalking” … By Pamela Kunene

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IF IT’S FREE… IT’S FOR ME…

A few years ago MXIT was popular for its incredibly data-light benefit. It won us over so effortlessly as it offered us an affordable means of sending messages instead of using relatively more expensive SMS options. Hence it was the largest social network in South Africa, until it was knocked from the top spot by Facebook (Enter Zuckerburg). More social networks are launched almost every year with amazing features, but the one that stands out is always the one able to connect people better and faster with a unique quality featured service.

2013 Facebook launched its free voice calling option for its Facebook Messenger App, in the United States and Canada and later rolled out the service throughout the World. While the calling service is Free it uses your data connection to make calls, so if you are using a WI-FI Connection at McDonalds, Spur or KFC your call is practically free, this is too awesome right? I know :). However if you are using 3G data connection, the data charges will apply, but you still get to benefit because if you don’t have airtime but have data bundles remaining, you will be able to make that almost free call.

Facebook just single handedly changed the game once more, innovation after innovation the keep redefining the virtual playing field. Like many I hated the Messenger App as I was literally forced to have it or else no messages. Couple of month down the line I’m like hell yeh!! If it’s free, it’s for me. Read More …

Re-shaped Educational System "Putting Genius In the Classroom" Part 1 …. By Pamela Kunene

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Re-shaped Educational System

In today’s world, if your company is not keeping pace with new innovation and technology it is likely that it will not last very long. In order to survive a digital society, companies must embrace and keep pace with changes in innovation and technology, this will enable them to grow and ultimately succeed in a digital economic climate that clearly shows no signs of slowing down.

I remember back in school I used to ponder (okay okay I used to wonder), isn’t there anything that can be done with this heavy backpack on my shoulder. When the Gauteng Provincial government announced the launch of the e-Learning solution aimed at allowing learners to access e-books on Tables replacing printed textbooks, I couldn’t help but commend them for such an innovative way of minimizing the heavy backpacks learners have to carry around to school. Read More …

I Wash My Bras Weekly Said No Woman Ever…


By Pamela Kunene

So I came across an incredibly thought-provoking post on Mzanzi Humor page the other day. It was something about whether guys knew the number of times girls wore the same bras without washing them, if they did they’d never want to hang out with them ever again!

I thought about adding a comment and asking if people actually wash their bras frequently, but I decided against it with the fear of embarrassing myself. Mzanzi Humor admin is savage you know, I thought he might end up taking my comment and turning it into a meme.

Fortunately, though, as I went through the comments, I found that, there are so many other women just like me. Those who also happen to wash their bras as infrequently as I do.

The comment section was hilarious, but I saw a platform or rather a community of women who understood and could totally relate to one another, as well.

They all understood how expensive bras are, and how even if you spend tons of money expanding your collection, there is always going to be that one favorite bra you will constantly choose over the others.

They were all still trying to figure out exactly how to hand-wash this particular garment no thanks to the bra-wires, foams and irregular shapes. After washing them, these garments get stretched out, limped, get this graying underthings that provide no lift or support whatsoever.

These women all agree that tits don’t really smell when they sweat otherwise by now they would have been subjected to nasty comments like “hey you smell like a bra”.

They have grown accustomed to coming home from work, taking off their cute bras and giving it a cursory sniff and then chuck it back in the drawer to wear it tomorrow. They all agree that washing a bra as infrequently as possible extends its life-span, hence it must only be washed when necessary. No one will understand this but women.

What intrigued me about this community of women is that, none of them actually cared about what the guys thought. The post transcended from the possibility of guys being disgusted by them, to these queens endorsing the fact that it’s okay to not wash your bra frequently.

They stood as one powerful unit and recognized something that would have been perceived as nasty and made it look cute and normal. Talk about the murder of a taboo lol.

Magic happens when queens collectively bully the status Que. Can you imagine if the female MPs stood up against the deputy minister who took part in physically abusing that young lady in that club and demanded his arrest?? No you can’t because we all know some of them do not care.

There are so many issues that we are subjected to daily, in the work place, in schools and hell everywhere we go.

Sadly, a lot of women keep a blind eye to it all. Ever noticed how women hardly interact with each other when they go to social sessions? But in contrast, men find it easy to talk to each other and agree on a lot of issues.

The bra conversation is an example of how a community of women from all different backgrounds can stand up, support each other, band together to establish priority of action, and address the issues they are faced with daily; in addition to that find solutions collectively.

This could be a liberation movement of dealing with the discrimination and the stigmatization women are faced to daily.

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Five Recipes Of How To Overcome Adversity, Depression & Stress


By Pamela Kunene
Steve Jobs’ quote “sometimes life will hit you with a brick, don’t lose faith” always caught my attention and  I always thought I knew what he was talking about until I found myself in a position where I was forced to understand what the pain of losing someone very close to me meant. I was faced with the reality of loss, and each and every single day became a reminder that I will never see her again. My heart is still broken, wide open, shattered and sore, though people say it gets better with time, for me each and every single day becomes a reality that I will never see mom again. I was filled with grief, and this was just one of those unpleasant situations I’ve ever been faced with in the history of my young life. In the mist of it all, I had to make a choice to both accept this part of my life as inevitable and adjust myself to it, or ruin my life with rebellion and maybe end up with a nervous breakdown. So I decided to get myself mentally stable, took everything one day at a time and used these 5 recipes of overcoming adversity to help me go through and get through the pain and eventually grow from it. Read More …

WhatsApp now sharing your phone number with Facebook – here’s how to stop it

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Two years ago Mark Zuckerberg caught us by surprise when he announced the deal he sealed with WhatsApp team, buying and having the entire team to join them at Facebook.  His vision was to make the world more open and connected, which was not far apart from the vision he had when he introduced the world to Facebook almost a decade ago.   Read More …

Why You Too Might Just Have A Dash Of Mama Winnie Mandela In You

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She is described as the Mother of the Nation. Mama Winnie Madikizela-Mandela.  One of the heroines I feel should be celebrated everyday in appreciation of the freedom we are currently enjoying. Read More …

Why You Might Just Have a Dash of Winnie Mandela in You!!

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She is described as the Mother of the Nation. Mama Winnie Madikizela-Mandela.  One of the heroines I feel should be celebrated everyday in appreciation of the freedom we are currently enjoying. Read More …

Parents Paying Men ‘Hyenas’ With HIV To Sleep With Their Teenage Kids

Eric-Aniva
African countries were colonized for years and years, through their bravery and resilience fought and eventually retained control of their countries. But it seems Read More …

Family Is All That We Got #familyvalues

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Do you remember that friend of mine I left on the other side, Fear (Pain)? What I didn’t mention is he had introduced me to another friend, but I never really got to know her name because she was always so quiet, always seemed afraid to speak when Pain is around. Apparently they always had fallouts, because Pain claimed she always had an intention of getting closer to his friends (drama, drama, drama, you see why Pain had to go, I don’t like drama)

Anyways, after my separation with Pain, this friend asked me to invite her over for “a talk”. People get invited for drinks, lunch, dinner and she wants to be invited for “a talk?” I was a bit skeptical about the whole idea, knowing very well that she might end up talking about him (Pain). I was not surprised when she started the conversation which happened to be about him, but she mentioned that she actually wanted me to know her better. Like know her better? Is she high on something?

She said to me: “Remember when you and Pain were best friends, when he pretended to be something he was not, a caring friend? I know you no longer see that in him. I understand that he is no longer part of your life but I need you to let go, forgive him and move on. Sometimes forgiveness might seem or feel impossible, it might seem like you are giving your heart to the same people that trampled on it”

The whole time I am thinking, my confusion mode just officially got activated. What on earth is she on about? But I looked into her eyes and I saw something much appealing for me to yearn for more. Her emotional state was so genuine that I couldn’t really ask her to leave, she was so sincere.

She carried on “You want to be happy right? Unfortunately the grudge you are holding is only hurting you more, the longer you attempt to forgive the longer the pain will burn in your heart. Forgive in order to remove the heavy burden you’ve been carrying around. Forgive so that you let go off all the negative energy and bring about positive energy in your life, with positive energy infused into everything you do, whatever you desire manifests more quickly, and in the process great things happen. When you allow yourself to forgive, you find inner peace, humility and set aside the notion that you are too great to forgive.  And when you forgive, you begin to heal and you are lead back to a joyful life. When you open your heart to forgiveness, others will find a room in their hearts to forgive you” She was not reciting a poem, OH my God woman was actually telling me about herself. I wish knew about her much earlier. My respond to her was “Forgiveness, your silence has been too loud for my liking, and from now on I need you close to me, we need to be able to converse at all times. I am taking you with me everywhere now, you are officially stuck with me for life”

We always find it in our hearts to forgive partners and friends that hurt us, which is great, we must forgive them. But we always find it so hard to find it in our hearts to forgive our families. What hurts more is that at times it is so hard to tell about our families. But how can we not talk about family when family is everything? While your friends may be there for you today, you never know about tomorrow. Nothing holds people together like a family bond. The love that binds you is deeper than anything you can ever imagine, they also deserve the benefit of your forgiveness. And as you forgive be open to new beginnings. Forgive them because life is too short to carry grudges. Imagine how sad it would be that you continued to carry the burden of hurt and pain and refused to forgive the person that might be gone tomorrow. Forgive them. Forgive them with the intention of speaking love and pride about them.

By Pamela Kunene

Does Herbalife and MMM have something in common??? Ding Ding Ding!!

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South Africa continues to face severe poverty and high rates of inequality and thus communities seek ways to escape debt and poverty. With stokvels being one of the lawful savings or investment society members regularly contribute an agreed amount and receive a lump sum payment. But schemes like (MMM) have been going around calling themselves either a stokvel or telling people that their operation is like that of a stokvel. It was discovered that MMM was in fact a pyramid scheme which promises people returns. But the problem with those returns is that they’ve got them from the capital that other people put in. A pyramid scheme is a business model that recruits members via a promise of payments or services for enrolling others into the scheme, rather than supplying investments, sale, products or services. The people taking part are sometimes referred to as sales representatives, independent representatives, investors or distributors. As recruiting multiplies, recruiting new members quickly becomes impossible, and most members are unable to profit; as such, pyramid schemes are unsustainable and often illegal.

Herbal life recently agreed to pay $200 million (R2.8 billion) and restructure its business after the Federal Trade Commission (FTC) found that it had duped people into thinking they could get rich from selling its products. The FTC charged the company after it found that Herbalife promoted itself as a multi-level marketing business opportunity through which participants may earn compensation by selling weight management, nutritional supplement, and personal care products and by recruiting new participants into the organisation. Herbalife members are able to sell the products and are encouraged to recruit other people to sell products as well. One of the things that some critics find fault with in this model is that while a very few “distributors” make it to the top of the pyramid and reap off a huge pay-off, the vast majority loses money.

“By becoming a Herbalife Independent Member you can boost your income while helping people meet their nutritional needs. Working either full or part time to fit your schedule, you can build your own business and sell proven, high-quality products which are not available in the shops. The exclusivity of our products will help you to build a base of long-term customers, who will turn to you for tailored support and advice. You do not need to be a nutrition expert to become a Herbalife Independent Member as you receive all the guidance you need. When you sign up, you will benefit from detailed instruction from your personal Herbalife coach who will be on hand to answer your questions and help you complete your training” ~ Herbalife website

If Herbalife is profitable, why was anyone concerned? Real problem with a pyramid scheme like Herbalife is said to be the company’s profits are generated by duping their distributors. A distributor’s compensation is driven not by how much product they sell to retail consumers, but on how successful they are in recruiting other distributors into the “business opportunity”. The vast majority of income generated by the company is from the products purchased by new distributors duped into buying their way into the business. So at the end of the day, is Herbalife a legitimate and effective business model for its distributors or an illegal pyramid scheme that targets and preys on them? According to the Federal Trade Commission, there is an easy way to tell. If distributor income is primarily based on sales to the public, the company may be legitimate. But if distributor income is primarily based on the number of people recruited and the sales to them, it’s a pyramid scheme.

Herbalife agreed to comply with the FTC and pay the amount required. They are also ordered to restructured their business model ensuring that distributor with recruits will get paid only if those recruits sell the inventory they buy. Currently a distributor earns income on recruits making purchases, regardless of whether they ever sell to a consumer. The change could push top distributors, who are the lifeblood of the company, to leave for another company.

I know that this an emotive topic for those who buy into it.

Article By Pamela Kunene

South African Internet Speed & Pricing Compared To Other African Countries & The world

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Internet has become a necessity for so many people and now a preferred medium of communication around the world. Some people are able to go a day or two without water, but get frustrated when they have to go a few hours without the internet. The struggle is real and rightfully so. This is a place where an extraordinary amount of information the likes of which humanity has never seen before, information that allows one to learn new subjects, get news that the SABC is censoring from the public, dive into work, connect with friends and family, and most importantly a place where South Africans unite as one and lose their chill. Slow internet connection speed is a struggle on its own, at that moment you are waiting for that page to load, that video to buffer, or that file to download feeling like you are waiting for  forever. A recent study by Akamai Technologies shows ten countries with the quickest internet and the average speed.

Here are the top 10 countries with the fastest internet connectivity:-

  1. South Korea 29 Mbps speed and this is 4.6 times as quick as the global average
  2. Norway 3 Mbps the speed increased by 68 % since 2015
  3. Sweden 6 Mbps, speed increased by 32% in 2015
  4. Hong Kong 9 Mbps, they were the first country to hit 60 Mbps in 2013
  5. Switzerland 7 Mbps the speed increased by 25% in 2015
  6. Latvia 3 Mbps which is nearly 3 times quicker than the global average
  7. Japan 2 Mbps
  8. Netherlands 9 Mbps
  9. Czech Republic 17Mbps the speed increased by 31% since last year
  10. Finland 7 Mbps a huge increase from 2010

The global average internet connection speed is 5 Mbps and South Africa is 2.85 Mbps positioned 6th fastest on the African continent. Ghana (1st), Zimbabwe (2nd), Kenya (3rd), Libya (4th) and Madagascar (5th) are well ahead, with Madagascar’s average speed sitting at around 4.25Mbps, not too far off double South Africa’s and this is according to IT news Africa.

Imagine life with a few clicks on a keyboard, a few scrolls on the mouse and a couple of swipes on your smartphone with an internet that is just a little faster than the current one. Our internet connectivity growth is pretty low and our service providers are not making it any easier for us with their excessively high pricing, yet overly slow connection. Despite improvements on internet speed and reduction of costs around the world. The relative value of South African internet users compared to the rest of the world remains low, in fact we were ranked 62nd out of 62 countries in 2015, meaning we pay more for internet access yet we have the slowest connection. I don’t know but maybe MTN, Vodacom, Cell C and Telkom Mobile should reduce their pricing or make it a bit reasonable for everyone to afford, since they can’t afford us a faster connection. You never know we might just get our long lost chill back.

Article By Pamela Kunene