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Sorry, I loved the Idea of You, Just Not You!

By Nelson Moropana

January 14, 2020

A Love Confession — A story old as time!

No one has ever actually confessed to this, well not that I do know of anyone having done it, but I hope someone actually did.

Isn’t it interesting that relationships can easily end with no one doing any wrong? I have seen this among my friends, and myself too, two souls drifting apart. And, I have decided to sit on this, I wondered, scratched my head over and over again, how could two people drift apart in such a short period of time and never look back?

As I am on a mission of self discovery, especially in the presence of someone or anyone, one of the key element of moving into a peaceful space, physically, spiritually and mentally, is admission. Admission on it’s own is difficult as it points out your wrongs, and asks that you convince yourself that you were wrong for the longest of time. And lol, who wants to do that?

Until it starts to hit me, I loved you.

Yes, I truly did — but just not you, but the idea of you, an idea of who you may have become, based on what I have seen, or so I like to say, what you’ve sold to me.

All throughout, on dates and nights out, I saw what you may be, an infinite set of potentials, a wife, a friend, a buddy a mother to my kids, and most of all, a professional killing it. I saw it, I bought it, you sold it to me dammit, you had it all together. And so I was in!

6 months down the-line you started coming out though, you’re lazy, actually, you whine a lot, you make up excuses, don’t live up to your expectations, what the hell? Where is my future wife then, there’s clearly no way of getting there with this new attitude? That professional? Seriously, your work ethic also dropped, and I saw my professional in you so you better give me my ‘infinite set of potentials’ person, my friend, my buddy, that mother to my kids.

😔

I beg, please!

And ladies and gentlemen, That’s how the show came to an end, well in my head… Lol.

A person I saw, just vanished, faded, never became who I saw, can you imagine, the tragedy in my heart?

Baby we need to talk!

😞

“Through and through our time together you’ve become this person, a person I have never seen before, you’ve become yourself, admitted your faults, dammit, greens were never your thing you lied all the way ain’t it? Lol. But unfortunately, I can’t, I need me something, someone who can ‘be’ the things I envisioned.”

Well, at-least that’s how the conversation should have been! But no, what kind of a guy are you? Be nice man!

Baby, I don’t think this is working out, we arguing a lot lately, you’re not happy, you grumpy, and yes — I think your work is also contributing to this and I am personally not coping too, my work is also a mess. I think it’s just high time we call it off!

👀

Right there, you saw it. Yep. We never love people for who they truly are do we?

All pretence and shit, until she tells you she’s happy with her fat tummy, and oh, notice how sh e is all of a sudden free, not scared of telling you your own shit too, that you had promised her staff and you never fulfilled them? Hmmm

LOL. And isn’t that the mistake we all make, we tap out, right there, when we realise our dreams are shattered, that the person you wanted is no more, and now, we are presented with a person, as they are, as they were, pure, free, accepting of who they are, bad as they may be, lazy as they may be, drunkards as they may be. It is at this moment, that many of us give up.

And this is my confession.

I loved the Idea of You, Just Not You!

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